F-Zero: 16-Bit Warrior... With A Vengeance!

Hello internet! It's been... Months! The craziness of life is just too damn much sometimes, y'know? I don't want to do a lengthy excuse of my absence, or any of that jazz; just know that I will do my best to be back on this here blog at least once a week! If not more. If any of you gamers are still lookin' at us, I hope you'll continue along for the ride and tell your friends to come check us out with saying "And they'll actually keep blogging! For reals!"

But you don't need to say 'For reals'... Cuz I don't think people actually say that... ANYWAY!

So when we left off I was going to go into a cry-fest of how badly I failed at the next couple of tracks in F-Zero. However, I completely forgot the woes I had endured, and so we will pick up where we left off with a new fresh impression. 

I did exceptionally well I thought at tackling the first two levels again; Mute City and Big Blue. I would say my experiences were largely the same (with the exception that I wasn't surprised by things.) Next we came to the Sand Ocean.

Sand Ocean taught me about corners. I remember why I hated it so much. There are these thin parts where you have pull tight curves. You have to release the acceleration, turn AND use the drift (L or R.) It is stressful, but when you make one of the tight turns without hitting a wall or another car it is SO satisfying. That's another thing that this game has going for it. It makes you feel good for when you succeed; because it's all about skill. You have to develop your skill at maneuvering these flying cars through these hazardous race tracks. Of course, I did not get through this course unscathed. I smashed walls, bounced off of others cars, went careening in directions for reasons I can only assume were momentum... But I came out on top! 

 I spent the entirety of that course in 3rd or 4th, but on the second last lap I got into a groove and pulled ahead to take victory. Just barely as you can see above. I remember when I raced this track those months ago I died twice. I have clearly improved by 'sitting on it' as they say.

The next track was aptly named Death Wind I. This track was frustrating as hell because if you look at the map - it looks incredibly straight forward. It's even more basic than Mute City! What makes this track difficult is the- wait for it- wind! On the long stretches of track the wind is constantly blowing you towards one of the walls. You have to constantly be drifting against it. Also, there are speed boosts (anyone who is familar with Mario Cart knows that drill - glowing arrow, zoom zoom.) But here's the kicker: if you hit a speed boost and you're drifting, you'll go FLYING into the direction you're drifting, and smash into a wall. Now, you may thing "Well, just don't hit the speed boost.' WRONG. Because every goddamn other car hits that speed boost, and you appear to be the only one whose car is being battered by wind. So if you miss a boost, you will be passed.

I spent the majority of this course in the lead. I had gotten the hang of the driving, and I clearly had figured out my problems from before. I knew where to drift, I knew which patches of gravel to avoid (all of them) and I knew how to turn well. But somehow I bumped something on the last lap, last corner, and got passed. By two cars. Brutal. So mad. Not pleased. Moving on.

Silence. This track should be called "How many right angles can we fit on a racing course?" Apparently it's quite a few. I wouldn't really have imagined racing on a track with square corners, why would you? That just seems like poor design, and dangerous, and stupid.

 Nonetheless, here we were, racing along some terribly sharp corners. Of course these weren't the only obstacle. There was also a HUGE gravel section that had to be leapt over. There is a small blue bar that launches you over it all if you've picked up enough speed. You may also notice that there is a section that you can turn off to at the top of the track; DON'T. It's a lie. It's a trap. Whatever you want to call it. If you go down it, you won't be able to turn and have enough speed to make it over the gravel pit and whatever time you saved will be lost. I did not do that on this run... I remember making that mistake before. What I DID do this run was pretty stupid. I missed the jump. I did not drift over far enough and I drove all the way over the gravel which slowed me all the way down and I was passed by two cars... Again. So I came in third after spending the majority of the game in the lead. No luck for this guy, I tell ya.

This isn't a screenshot of my original race, I took it in practice so you guys could see the map.

I cursed my folley and grumbled as the race finished. The game then recounted for me the stats of the past 5 races: so here we are.

 Mute City

Big Blue

Sand Ocean

\

Death Wind I

Silence

Not too terrible, apart from bombing the end of the last two courses... But I completed the Knight League. I'm not 100% happy with my performance, so I MAY redo it to get 1st on all the courses... But my next mission is to tackle Queen League, so get ready for some more high velocity action!

Catch ya later gamers.

P.S. Man it is nice to be back; it's a great feeling playing these old games. Thank you to everyone who kept popping in and looking at our blog even while we were away, hopefully we can keep you coming!

Mega Man X: Holy Boss-Battles Batman!

So I demolished the rest of the old bosses in this one level, and fought a new robo-beast; which ended up having me face 6 boss fights in one level! SIX. I was running low on all counts of powers and energy tanks as the level progressed. It also felt like the bosses were a little more difficult than the first time I fought them... not that I DIED a whole lot. The fights just felt harder.

The first boss door (which again was pretty much as the start of the level) was the Armored Armadillo. I knew I had to electrocute him with my lightning shot to get rid of his armor, and then continuously do so until he died.

Don't worry, I'm not invisible, I just got hit by his forehead shot.

After defeating Armadillo, I made my way through some baddies and got myself to full health; just in time for the next boss door (which was pretty much a single hallway away.)

And within this doorway was that bastard who can actually turn invisible: Sting Chameleon. He was just as annoying as I recall, the first time we fought. Only THIS time, I found his weakness!

THE BOOM!... erang.

So I made my way out of his chamber, down a little drop where there was some health behind some pipes. I used the boomerang to snag them up (that thing is all kinds of handy, ain't it?)

Onto the next boss! Here I had to face off with Spark Mandrill! I already knew his weakness, so I could use my wonderful Ice Shot to freeze him whenever he was getting to close for comfort. I did not leave the battle unscathed however, as each one of his flying punches would knock me off the wall if I tried to avoid them that way.

You know what killed the dinosaurs? The ICE AGE!

So that was 3 bosses down, so I was imagining I would be facing a new boss right away, but I was wrong! I dove down into some water and instantly knew what was coming.

Hmm... I wonder who I'm fighting next?

Oooo... Surprise, surprise.

Octo-whatever his face is was a bastard. I very much did not enjoy fighting him. Mainly because I couldn't figure out his weakness, and also I couldn't remember how I beat him last time. So I switched rapidly through my powers and buster shots, trying to avoid his missiles and keep away from his whirlpool thang.

Then I killed him with his own powers; just for the hell of it.

Then I leapt out of the water and found another boss door. When I entered I saw the conveyor belt and knew right away I was to be facing Flame Mammoth. Last time I didn't have his weakness, and I knew I did this time. As far as I could tell, it seemed the tornado power did more damage to him. I jumped away from his fireballs, and soot shot, and blasted him down as much as I could.

I finished him off at the same time as getting knocked into the air by his fat-ass weight coming down.

So I had finished them all off. All them old guys. And the level wasn't over? Who was I supposed to fight next?... Some rather large robot, T-Rex head thing? This guy was annoying as hell. He killed me a fair amount of times, to be honest. He only had two attacks really. His upper half and lower half would split and move seperately attempting to hit me. The other is if both halves come together and shoot a large electric orb out at you. I had to dash under that one. You can't hang up on the wall to avoid it... It will launch at you.

Also, in trying to jump through the gap of top and bottom, the top would often be too fast and crush down on me, causing a fair amount of pain. How I ended up winning was getting into a rhythm of his movements and blasts; I scrolled through my powers, charging fully as well as I could to do the most damage possible. And in the end, it was still a damn close call.

HUZZAH! I won! Whew... That was DAMN stressful.

But I finished him off, that I did. And was then sent to the boss screen again. This HAS to be the final boss now; Sigma. I'm also curious as to whether I'll get some answers of some plot? Maybe?... Maybe I'm hoping too much. I guess we'll see.

Catch ya later gamers.

Mega Man X: First of the Last

So, it was silly of me to think that it was just going to be the last boss right away, I OBVIOUSLY was going to have to go through his mystery hideout and fight legions of baddies, and then take on old bosses again. Why didn't I think of that? Tsk, tsk.

Anywho, it started with meeting up with big ol' Zero. I don't wanna say he's a cocky bugger. But. He's a cocky bugger. "Don't worry X, I'll handle the big guys." "Don't worry X, I'll go first so I can destroy all the big guys who might give you trouble." "Don't worry "X, I'm just viscerally better than you in every way, no big." I'm not bitter.

Ya, that's always a good idea.

So, I make my way, tearing through some robo-turtles. Leap on some floating platforms and make my way up along this floating path, careful not to fall to my doom. I enter Sigma's fortress and begin blowing apart some baddies. Nothing too out of the ordinary here, just had to blast away. I started to realize that I had so many different powers that I could totally start using them to ease my way through the levels. The cyclone power is SO FREAKING SWEET. It protects me from things coming at me, and rips apart any bad guy infront of me, cuz it hits them so many times.

I made my way up to this ladder area and had to deal with some rather annoying moving turrets. I popped up through the ladder though, and Purple-Jackass popped down and was ready to get an ass-whooping when Big Red shows up being a 'hero' (even though I'M the hero of this story... Right?)

You jackass, let me do my own dirty work!

So I follow after them and hear the sound of some charge shotting, and a >thunk<, and I'm thinking "Oh shit, Zero got pwned!" And I hurried forward, and I was mostly right.

Oh, so I guess you aren't so ALL POWERFUL are you, Zero!? Hah!... And I resent your words, Purple-face.

So, Purple-Face managed to get IN his mech and trap Zero in a very short amount of time. After some banter about how I can defeat him, and how I know I can't defeat him, the battle began. However, there was no health bar for Big-Purple-Mech so I didn't get the feeling I was supposed to win again. I was right. When I got me down to near dead he paralyzed me AGAIN, and then picked me up to bring me over to the other side of the screen for... Some reason.

He laughed, and said I was helpless. Then Zero did a big ol' "BUT I'M NOT!!!" And broke free of the prison and exploded them both.

... Well shit, he saved me.

However, Zero only destroyed the mech, leaving Purple-Man for me to deal with. Out of nowhere, I broke out of the paralization and was restored to full health. Baddie says "Where did that energy come from!?" I dunno. Still don't. Plot hole anyone?

Anywho, without his mech, I could easily jump over Purple when he charged, and I could damaged him with all my attacks. I didn't really pick a defined strategy, I just charged up my buster, or switched between powers, and just shot the hell outta him. And thus he died.

Not so tough without your big mech, eh? I tore through you, boi.

So, I washed my hands of Big-Purple and continued on my way, only to find Zero's body... And from the looks of it, his legs were gone. He told me I was stronger than he ever imagined, and then said that "Maybe you can defeat Sigma..." And, I still have NO IDEA who that is! So he faded away and died.

Now I feel bad for those bad things I said. Why'd you have to go and die?

And that WASN'T the ended of the level. I still had to fight some regular bad-guys and leap over some other guys. Again, same old same old. No new faces here. And then I came to a boss room, with an especially familiar face. KUWANGER!

When I entered the room and he started in with his phasing-in-out-dance thing, I was like: "Oh, I know how to deal with you." And he was exactly the same as I could tell. I switched to his weakness (missles) and blasted him away with them. Just for the hell of it, I waited when he was at low health to charge up my missle shot and...

I beat you already, bitch. Eat homing pirahnas!

And that wasn't the end of the level! I still had to continue on and fight more baddies, and lump up some walls, and get annoyed with some turrets and whatnot, but I made it to the NEXT boss in a short amount of time. And boy, was he annoying.

Enter Big-Spider-Robot. He has these four long poles in the room which he manuvers on, and when he exits the screen these little horizontal green bars appear in random patterns between them, somewhat hinted out how he'll approach next. That is sometimes difficult to judge. You think he's going to follow the descending path of bars, but sometimes he'll wipe around and come at you from the top. Other than simple charging down the poles at you, Spider only has one other attack. Which is to throw down four mini-spiders which run at you and are an inconvenience.

The only way I seems to be able to get him was to shoot the moment BEFORE he came to the bottom of his trip downwards, because he scurried up the pole very quickly upon reaching hitting you or not. And forget about hitting him if he hits you. Ain't gonna happen. I'm so glad I got the armor upgrade, because he was still hurting me quite a bit with his obviously excessive body weight.

Ouch. Scary robo-spider moves fast.

Also, he speeds up the more you damage him. Just thought you should know.

But he still dies like everybody else!

So I finally beat him by constantly doing a super-charge of my regular ol' Buster shot, as you can see here.

That was the end of the level. The game returned me to the boss screen again, with the same picture of that Sigma guy... So I'm guessing I'll have a few more levels, maybe 3 bosses per level from now on? I guess we'll see.

Catch ya later gamers!

Super Metroid: high jump boots...now what?

So I've been at this for a couple hours today and I think I'm stuck. 

My first moment of joy came when I realized that old memories of a charge-up shot were not invented by my imagination. So, now I'm equipped with an extra-damage-giving arm cannon. Which is awesome cuz I keep wasting missiles on ceiling jumpers.

So then I moved on to find these little jerks.

If I could improve one thing about this game it would be to make it easier to get the hell out of spikey water. I had so many deaths because of that that I was ready to eat my controller. However, with a little patience I got through it and found out that my super missiles blow these guys up in a hurry. It wasn't long before I finally found these suckas:

 Which made life a little easier, but then I realized that a quite a few rooms back and on a whole different level I had left areas what were too high to reach. However, I can't go back there because I've closed myself off. So then I found the next save point, here....

And was doubly miffed to find that I had nowhere else to go. To the right of this save point was a dead end that I couldn't blast through, and all the rooms I could access were either too hot for my armor(or something...) or the door wouldn't open with any of my weapons. I feel like I missed something and its frustrating. There's also a room with Indiana Jones style closing doorways that I have to run through, but the second one still closes too fast. Being too frustrated to continue I have called it quits for the day and will try again tomorrow...or later tonight.