F-Zero: 16-Bit Warrior... With A Vengeance!

Hello internet! It's been... Months! The craziness of life is just too damn much sometimes, y'know? I don't want to do a lengthy excuse of my absence, or any of that jazz; just know that I will do my best to be back on this here blog at least once a week! If not more. If any of you gamers are still lookin' at us, I hope you'll continue along for the ride and tell your friends to come check us out with saying "And they'll actually keep blogging! For reals!"

But you don't need to say 'For reals'... Cuz I don't think people actually say that... ANYWAY!

So when we left off I was going to go into a cry-fest of how badly I failed at the next couple of tracks in F-Zero. However, I completely forgot the woes I had endured, and so we will pick up where we left off with a new fresh impression. 

I did exceptionally well I thought at tackling the first two levels again; Mute City and Big Blue. I would say my experiences were largely the same (with the exception that I wasn't surprised by things.) Next we came to the Sand Ocean.

Sand Ocean taught me about corners. I remember why I hated it so much. There are these thin parts where you have pull tight curves. You have to release the acceleration, turn AND use the drift (L or R.) It is stressful, but when you make one of the tight turns without hitting a wall or another car it is SO satisfying. That's another thing that this game has going for it. It makes you feel good for when you succeed; because it's all about skill. You have to develop your skill at maneuvering these flying cars through these hazardous race tracks. Of course, I did not get through this course unscathed. I smashed walls, bounced off of others cars, went careening in directions for reasons I can only assume were momentum... But I came out on top! 

 I spent the entirety of that course in 3rd or 4th, but on the second last lap I got into a groove and pulled ahead to take victory. Just barely as you can see above. I remember when I raced this track those months ago I died twice. I have clearly improved by 'sitting on it' as they say.

The next track was aptly named Death Wind I. This track was frustrating as hell because if you look at the map - it looks incredibly straight forward. It's even more basic than Mute City! What makes this track difficult is the- wait for it- wind! On the long stretches of track the wind is constantly blowing you towards one of the walls. You have to constantly be drifting against it. Also, there are speed boosts (anyone who is familar with Mario Cart knows that drill - glowing arrow, zoom zoom.) But here's the kicker: if you hit a speed boost and you're drifting, you'll go FLYING into the direction you're drifting, and smash into a wall. Now, you may thing "Well, just don't hit the speed boost.' WRONG. Because every goddamn other car hits that speed boost, and you appear to be the only one whose car is being battered by wind. So if you miss a boost, you will be passed.

I spent the majority of this course in the lead. I had gotten the hang of the driving, and I clearly had figured out my problems from before. I knew where to drift, I knew which patches of gravel to avoid (all of them) and I knew how to turn well. But somehow I bumped something on the last lap, last corner, and got passed. By two cars. Brutal. So mad. Not pleased. Moving on.

Silence. This track should be called "How many right angles can we fit on a racing course?" Apparently it's quite a few. I wouldn't really have imagined racing on a track with square corners, why would you? That just seems like poor design, and dangerous, and stupid.

 Nonetheless, here we were, racing along some terribly sharp corners. Of course these weren't the only obstacle. There was also a HUGE gravel section that had to be leapt over. There is a small blue bar that launches you over it all if you've picked up enough speed. You may also notice that there is a section that you can turn off to at the top of the track; DON'T. It's a lie. It's a trap. Whatever you want to call it. If you go down it, you won't be able to turn and have enough speed to make it over the gravel pit and whatever time you saved will be lost. I did not do that on this run... I remember making that mistake before. What I DID do this run was pretty stupid. I missed the jump. I did not drift over far enough and I drove all the way over the gravel which slowed me all the way down and I was passed by two cars... Again. So I came in third after spending the majority of the game in the lead. No luck for this guy, I tell ya.

This isn't a screenshot of my original race, I took it in practice so you guys could see the map.

I cursed my folley and grumbled as the race finished. The game then recounted for me the stats of the past 5 races: so here we are.

 Mute City

Big Blue

Sand Ocean

\

Death Wind I

Silence

Not too terrible, apart from bombing the end of the last two courses... But I completed the Knight League. I'm not 100% happy with my performance, so I MAY redo it to get 1st on all the courses... But my next mission is to tackle Queen League, so get ready for some more high velocity action!

Catch ya later gamers.

P.S. Man it is nice to be back; it's a great feeling playing these old games. Thank you to everyone who kept popping in and looking at our blog even while we were away, hopefully we can keep you coming!

Super Metroid: Couldn't help but ace this game right away! Death to the Motherbrain!

 So I literally took a few minutes in between writing that last blog post and going back to finish the game. Unfortunately I've now published them together because I had the other one on draft for too long. But that's the life of technology. So anyways, I couldn't help myself and I went back into Super Metroid and completely destroyed this game.






Like I thought, things went down once I went to the golden statue. (I picked up more health and missile upgrades along the way, btw) The statue started blinking out, one boss at a time....

 And then sank into the water...

It was a nifty cutscene, and I was presented with an elevator to a new world. The final one. This one had no secret passages, just Metroids and stupid computer-controlled laser loops that fired at random, a LOT.

By the way, I now fully understand every webcomic joke about Metroids. They are the most irritating creatures. You cannot at ALL get rid of them once they latch on, aside from entering a different room and coming back in. The trick I soon discovered was to plasma freeze them and then super bomb them. I later discovered I should have used regular missiles instead....woulda made things easier.

I forgot to get a pic of it, but I did come across a metroid MUCH bigger than the one displayed above. It attacked me and sucked my health all the way down except for one health. Then it pulled away....was....was this the Metroid I was looking for? Motherly feelings swam through me as it sadly withdrew from me. I then found health, missiles, and a save point, then it was time for the mother of all bosses...the Mother Brain.

note: getting to the mother brain proved difficult, and many retries were had due to the fact that the laser loops would drastically lower health as I took apart the obstacles getting to it. THEN it took WAY too many missiles to destroy the case the brain was in, which in turn made the boss fight impossible after. SO, I eventuall discovered you could do a whole bunch of damage to the brain, then make your way back to the missile loader and energy recharge station, then come back and the brain had the same amount of damage taken. So this is what I did eventually and I exploded the brain.

Which brought me down to a little square room to face off the evil brain with its new body. Suddenly Ninja Turtles comes to mind...hmm. So the fight was hard, namely because he/she/it had a mega move that couldn't be avoided and you had to ensure you had about 4 tanks of health left. Then it hurt me for a bit and THEN tried the move again...but I was saved by this!

 My Metroid baby came back and defended me. Then it gave me all of my health back, but the Mother Brain killed it. It was very tragic. Samus got furious and I gained an even more powerful laser attack...somehow.

 But hey, who am I to complain. DIE MOTHER BRAIN!

And I showed it who the real boss was. Then she proceeded to activate the self destruct (of course) so I had to boogy my way out of the planet, shooting MANY space pirates along the way *hallelujah!* and got back to my ship.

I took off into space and then the entire planet blew up. Take that you dirty Metroid-Thieving Pirates!

Another surprise was the actual number of hours I logged on the game was not nearly as much as I have been exaggerating about, haha. I had a good laugh at that.

Thus brings an end to the fun of Super Metroid. I hope you had fun journeying to the depths of Planet Zebes and defeating the Mother Brain. It was a difficult mission, but I think we all came out the better for it. Thank you all for your patience on my posting lateness.

Stay tuned for my next game announcement. Also, we still encourage game suggestions in our comments field. Don't be shy. We like comments at 16 Bit Warriors. Keep gaming gamers.