F-Zero: 16-Bit Warrior... With A Vengeance!

Hello internet! It's been... Months! The craziness of life is just too damn much sometimes, y'know? I don't want to do a lengthy excuse of my absence, or any of that jazz; just know that I will do my best to be back on this here blog at least once a week! If not more. If any of you gamers are still lookin' at us, I hope you'll continue along for the ride and tell your friends to come check us out with saying "And they'll actually keep blogging! For reals!"

But you don't need to say 'For reals'... Cuz I don't think people actually say that... ANYWAY!

So when we left off I was going to go into a cry-fest of how badly I failed at the next couple of tracks in F-Zero. However, I completely forgot the woes I had endured, and so we will pick up where we left off with a new fresh impression. 

I did exceptionally well I thought at tackling the first two levels again; Mute City and Big Blue. I would say my experiences were largely the same (with the exception that I wasn't surprised by things.) Next we came to the Sand Ocean.

Sand Ocean taught me about corners. I remember why I hated it so much. There are these thin parts where you have pull tight curves. You have to release the acceleration, turn AND use the drift (L or R.) It is stressful, but when you make one of the tight turns without hitting a wall or another car it is SO satisfying. That's another thing that this game has going for it. It makes you feel good for when you succeed; because it's all about skill. You have to develop your skill at maneuvering these flying cars through these hazardous race tracks. Of course, I did not get through this course unscathed. I smashed walls, bounced off of others cars, went careening in directions for reasons I can only assume were momentum... But I came out on top! 

 I spent the entirety of that course in 3rd or 4th, but on the second last lap I got into a groove and pulled ahead to take victory. Just barely as you can see above. I remember when I raced this track those months ago I died twice. I have clearly improved by 'sitting on it' as they say.

The next track was aptly named Death Wind I. This track was frustrating as hell because if you look at the map - it looks incredibly straight forward. It's even more basic than Mute City! What makes this track difficult is the- wait for it- wind! On the long stretches of track the wind is constantly blowing you towards one of the walls. You have to constantly be drifting against it. Also, there are speed boosts (anyone who is familar with Mario Cart knows that drill - glowing arrow, zoom zoom.) But here's the kicker: if you hit a speed boost and you're drifting, you'll go FLYING into the direction you're drifting, and smash into a wall. Now, you may thing "Well, just don't hit the speed boost.' WRONG. Because every goddamn other car hits that speed boost, and you appear to be the only one whose car is being battered by wind. So if you miss a boost, you will be passed.

I spent the majority of this course in the lead. I had gotten the hang of the driving, and I clearly had figured out my problems from before. I knew where to drift, I knew which patches of gravel to avoid (all of them) and I knew how to turn well. But somehow I bumped something on the last lap, last corner, and got passed. By two cars. Brutal. So mad. Not pleased. Moving on.

Silence. This track should be called "How many right angles can we fit on a racing course?" Apparently it's quite a few. I wouldn't really have imagined racing on a track with square corners, why would you? That just seems like poor design, and dangerous, and stupid.

 Nonetheless, here we were, racing along some terribly sharp corners. Of course these weren't the only obstacle. There was also a HUGE gravel section that had to be leapt over. There is a small blue bar that launches you over it all if you've picked up enough speed. You may also notice that there is a section that you can turn off to at the top of the track; DON'T. It's a lie. It's a trap. Whatever you want to call it. If you go down it, you won't be able to turn and have enough speed to make it over the gravel pit and whatever time you saved will be lost. I did not do that on this run... I remember making that mistake before. What I DID do this run was pretty stupid. I missed the jump. I did not drift over far enough and I drove all the way over the gravel which slowed me all the way down and I was passed by two cars... Again. So I came in third after spending the majority of the game in the lead. No luck for this guy, I tell ya.

This isn't a screenshot of my original race, I took it in practice so you guys could see the map.

I cursed my folley and grumbled as the race finished. The game then recounted for me the stats of the past 5 races: so here we are.

 Mute City

Big Blue

Sand Ocean

\

Death Wind I

Silence

Not too terrible, apart from bombing the end of the last two courses... But I completed the Knight League. I'm not 100% happy with my performance, so I MAY redo it to get 1st on all the courses... But my next mission is to tackle Queen League, so get ready for some more high velocity action!

Catch ya later gamers.

P.S. Man it is nice to be back; it's a great feeling playing these old games. Thank you to everyone who kept popping in and looking at our blog even while we were away, hopefully we can keep you coming!

Mega Man X: Holy Boss-Battles Batman!

So I demolished the rest of the old bosses in this one level, and fought a new robo-beast; which ended up having me face 6 boss fights in one level! SIX. I was running low on all counts of powers and energy tanks as the level progressed. It also felt like the bosses were a little more difficult than the first time I fought them... not that I DIED a whole lot. The fights just felt harder.

The first boss door (which again was pretty much as the start of the level) was the Armored Armadillo. I knew I had to electrocute him with my lightning shot to get rid of his armor, and then continuously do so until he died.

Don't worry, I'm not invisible, I just got hit by his forehead shot.

After defeating Armadillo, I made my way through some baddies and got myself to full health; just in time for the next boss door (which was pretty much a single hallway away.)

And within this doorway was that bastard who can actually turn invisible: Sting Chameleon. He was just as annoying as I recall, the first time we fought. Only THIS time, I found his weakness!

THE BOOM!... erang.

So I made my way out of his chamber, down a little drop where there was some health behind some pipes. I used the boomerang to snag them up (that thing is all kinds of handy, ain't it?)

Onto the next boss! Here I had to face off with Spark Mandrill! I already knew his weakness, so I could use my wonderful Ice Shot to freeze him whenever he was getting to close for comfort. I did not leave the battle unscathed however, as each one of his flying punches would knock me off the wall if I tried to avoid them that way.

You know what killed the dinosaurs? The ICE AGE!

So that was 3 bosses down, so I was imagining I would be facing a new boss right away, but I was wrong! I dove down into some water and instantly knew what was coming.

Hmm... I wonder who I'm fighting next?

Oooo... Surprise, surprise.

Octo-whatever his face is was a bastard. I very much did not enjoy fighting him. Mainly because I couldn't figure out his weakness, and also I couldn't remember how I beat him last time. So I switched rapidly through my powers and buster shots, trying to avoid his missiles and keep away from his whirlpool thang.

Then I killed him with his own powers; just for the hell of it.

Then I leapt out of the water and found another boss door. When I entered I saw the conveyor belt and knew right away I was to be facing Flame Mammoth. Last time I didn't have his weakness, and I knew I did this time. As far as I could tell, it seemed the tornado power did more damage to him. I jumped away from his fireballs, and soot shot, and blasted him down as much as I could.

I finished him off at the same time as getting knocked into the air by his fat-ass weight coming down.

So I had finished them all off. All them old guys. And the level wasn't over? Who was I supposed to fight next?... Some rather large robot, T-Rex head thing? This guy was annoying as hell. He killed me a fair amount of times, to be honest. He only had two attacks really. His upper half and lower half would split and move seperately attempting to hit me. The other is if both halves come together and shoot a large electric orb out at you. I had to dash under that one. You can't hang up on the wall to avoid it... It will launch at you.

Also, in trying to jump through the gap of top and bottom, the top would often be too fast and crush down on me, causing a fair amount of pain. How I ended up winning was getting into a rhythm of his movements and blasts; I scrolled through my powers, charging fully as well as I could to do the most damage possible. And in the end, it was still a damn close call.

HUZZAH! I won! Whew... That was DAMN stressful.

But I finished him off, that I did. And was then sent to the boss screen again. This HAS to be the final boss now; Sigma. I'm also curious as to whether I'll get some answers of some plot? Maybe?... Maybe I'm hoping too much. I guess we'll see.

Catch ya later gamers.

Mega Man X: First of the Last

So, it was silly of me to think that it was just going to be the last boss right away, I OBVIOUSLY was going to have to go through his mystery hideout and fight legions of baddies, and then take on old bosses again. Why didn't I think of that? Tsk, tsk.

Anywho, it started with meeting up with big ol' Zero. I don't wanna say he's a cocky bugger. But. He's a cocky bugger. "Don't worry X, I'll handle the big guys." "Don't worry X, I'll go first so I can destroy all the big guys who might give you trouble." "Don't worry "X, I'm just viscerally better than you in every way, no big." I'm not bitter.

Ya, that's always a good idea.

So, I make my way, tearing through some robo-turtles. Leap on some floating platforms and make my way up along this floating path, careful not to fall to my doom. I enter Sigma's fortress and begin blowing apart some baddies. Nothing too out of the ordinary here, just had to blast away. I started to realize that I had so many different powers that I could totally start using them to ease my way through the levels. The cyclone power is SO FREAKING SWEET. It protects me from things coming at me, and rips apart any bad guy infront of me, cuz it hits them so many times.

I made my way up to this ladder area and had to deal with some rather annoying moving turrets. I popped up through the ladder though, and Purple-Jackass popped down and was ready to get an ass-whooping when Big Red shows up being a 'hero' (even though I'M the hero of this story... Right?)

You jackass, let me do my own dirty work!

So I follow after them and hear the sound of some charge shotting, and a >thunk<, and I'm thinking "Oh shit, Zero got pwned!" And I hurried forward, and I was mostly right.

Oh, so I guess you aren't so ALL POWERFUL are you, Zero!? Hah!... And I resent your words, Purple-face.

So, Purple-Face managed to get IN his mech and trap Zero in a very short amount of time. After some banter about how I can defeat him, and how I know I can't defeat him, the battle began. However, there was no health bar for Big-Purple-Mech so I didn't get the feeling I was supposed to win again. I was right. When I got me down to near dead he paralyzed me AGAIN, and then picked me up to bring me over to the other side of the screen for... Some reason.

He laughed, and said I was helpless. Then Zero did a big ol' "BUT I'M NOT!!!" And broke free of the prison and exploded them both.

... Well shit, he saved me.

However, Zero only destroyed the mech, leaving Purple-Man for me to deal with. Out of nowhere, I broke out of the paralization and was restored to full health. Baddie says "Where did that energy come from!?" I dunno. Still don't. Plot hole anyone?

Anywho, without his mech, I could easily jump over Purple when he charged, and I could damaged him with all my attacks. I didn't really pick a defined strategy, I just charged up my buster, or switched between powers, and just shot the hell outta him. And thus he died.

Not so tough without your big mech, eh? I tore through you, boi.

So, I washed my hands of Big-Purple and continued on my way, only to find Zero's body... And from the looks of it, his legs were gone. He told me I was stronger than he ever imagined, and then said that "Maybe you can defeat Sigma..." And, I still have NO IDEA who that is! So he faded away and died.

Now I feel bad for those bad things I said. Why'd you have to go and die?

And that WASN'T the ended of the level. I still had to fight some regular bad-guys and leap over some other guys. Again, same old same old. No new faces here. And then I came to a boss room, with an especially familiar face. KUWANGER!

When I entered the room and he started in with his phasing-in-out-dance thing, I was like: "Oh, I know how to deal with you." And he was exactly the same as I could tell. I switched to his weakness (missles) and blasted him away with them. Just for the hell of it, I waited when he was at low health to charge up my missle shot and...

I beat you already, bitch. Eat homing pirahnas!

And that wasn't the end of the level! I still had to continue on and fight more baddies, and lump up some walls, and get annoyed with some turrets and whatnot, but I made it to the NEXT boss in a short amount of time. And boy, was he annoying.

Enter Big-Spider-Robot. He has these four long poles in the room which he manuvers on, and when he exits the screen these little horizontal green bars appear in random patterns between them, somewhat hinted out how he'll approach next. That is sometimes difficult to judge. You think he's going to follow the descending path of bars, but sometimes he'll wipe around and come at you from the top. Other than simple charging down the poles at you, Spider only has one other attack. Which is to throw down four mini-spiders which run at you and are an inconvenience.

The only way I seems to be able to get him was to shoot the moment BEFORE he came to the bottom of his trip downwards, because he scurried up the pole very quickly upon reaching hitting you or not. And forget about hitting him if he hits you. Ain't gonna happen. I'm so glad I got the armor upgrade, because he was still hurting me quite a bit with his obviously excessive body weight.

Ouch. Scary robo-spider moves fast.

Also, he speeds up the more you damage him. Just thought you should know.

But he still dies like everybody else!

So I finally beat him by constantly doing a super-charge of my regular ol' Buster shot, as you can see here.

That was the end of the level. The game returned me to the boss screen again, with the same picture of that Sigma guy... So I'm guessing I'll have a few more levels, maybe 3 bosses per level from now on? I guess we'll see.

Catch ya later gamers!

Mega Man X: Flame

Alrighty, back into the groove. Demolished the Flame Mammoth. For some reason this level felt very quick, but maybe it was just in my head. I started off in this factory area, with conveyor belts which were dropping baddies down along. Some were robot dragon heads, and the if not them than they were the top halves of humanoid robot things which shot at me. I got hit by a stray blast, but I was alright. Pretty well right after the belts there was a drop, but across it was a little orb of full health. So that was awesome.

Then I came to an area that was very similar to the conveyors; except they were just bridges.

I'm going to take this moment to wonder why there are no humans in this game. As far as I can tell, this 'war' I am fighting is against robots, and I am guessing it is for the good of mankind. Why haven't I met any? Where are they? What are they doing if everywhere I go there is an onslaught of robot baddies. Just something I found myself thinking about... Back to the level.

I followed along the bridge, and then there were these robot mole-men miners or what not. They hurled pick axes at me. They threw them exactly where you were though. They were impeccably accurate.

Luckily they died just like everything else with some buster shots. I went in a straight line and killed them all, and then there was thing glowing pink heart under the bridge, so I went back and dropped to the ground level and got a wonderful health increase! This pleased me.

I did some wall jumping then up and up, and then dropped into this piped area which was dropping what looked like lava out of them. I could avoid them, but there were these little weird spikey spinning bastards which circling along the pipe and went back and forth, and I couldn't kill them! My shots would just bounce off of them. This sucked. Then there were these shield buggers. Couldn't shoot them either. They had a morningstar-esk arm, and when they shot it out at me I jumped over it, and then had to rapidfire them to kill 'em. So I had about half-health when I made it through that, and then I was at the boss door. Really short level.

So the Flame Mammoth as he's called is an odd guy. His boss room has a conveyor belt which is annoying. His attacks consist of shooting some fireballs, launching a blob of some dark red soot (I didn't get hit by it, nor did I step into the puddle it left; I'm guessing DON'T.) He also can leap into the air at you. This does ALOT of damage. I did not, unfortunately, have the power which was hit weakness, so I had to beat him down the old fashioned way; using all my different powers in various ways until he died. I would dash away from him when he leapt into the air, keep myself on the wall to avoid his shots. I used the rolling shield I acquired because it curved downward and it worked well. I also used the ice shot because I could should the opposite direction of him and still hit him because it would bounce to him. I finished him off with the rolling shield because it's just a fun power. I also didn't die, so... Ya, awesome.

Now which boss shall I destroy next? Catch ya later gamers.

Mega Man X: Armor Time

Alright, so it was a busy-as-hell day today, but I managed to squeeze in about 30 minutes of Mega Man time, which I used to beat the Armored Armadillo. Now, that may have sounded like it was an easy task, but it wasn't. That bastard bounces all the hell around like a mother-... Anyway. I ought to talk about my trip to said Armadillo before I go harping on him, now shouldn't I?

Well, to start, this appeared to be a cavern of some fashion. I imagined the insides of a mine. Probably due to the cart that I jumped upon at the beginning. The spikes on the front and back of the cart protected me from enemies on the rails themselves, while I occupied myself with shooting at the many, many robot bats who flew at me as I careened along. I thought it was to be

an on-the-rails level, but that was silly of me. The cart dipped into a gap and then bounced back and forth between the wall towards doom. So I leapt off and went flying with the momentum into a robot heron. That hurt, so I killed it with a few buster shots.

I ran for a bit, shot some things and then dropped down a hole to find this guy break through the wall after me.

So I ran away, with my dash boots I was able to get away from him rather easily. He chased me all the way along until I leapt over a pit of spikes which he promptly fell into and died. I chuckled and then retraced my steps back to where he came from and found an Energy Tank thing! It appears to store health I pick up when I'm at full so I can use it to heal myself. Nifty. I fought my way back through all that lovely jazz and jumped over more rocks and rode another cart, which killed more guys for me and then bounced down into another gap.

I was hurled through the air again and ended up dropping down another long fall where another smashy-smashy thing was waiting for me to tear apart some walls. I bolted along infront of it again and spotted a little glowing heart thing up above, so I did some wall jumping and grabbed it up. It game me more health! Awesome, right? Ya, pretty happy with that.

So, another cart, except this time, instead of flying down into a gap, it went hurling THROUGH THE AIR. I didn't know what was happening so I jumped right away, and flew onto the top of the cliff thing. There was a large thing of health sitting there but I couldn't go anywhere else. So I figured I'd slide down the wall, and then there was the boss door.

So. Armored Armadillo. Has armor. And can block by buster shots. That was annoying as hell. Also; he bounces around which is near impossible to continously avoid. He killed me so, so, SO many times. And everytime he killed me more than 3 times, I had to do the level over again. Yeesh. He has the bounce attack which can go on forever, he also has a little gun that pops out from his head and shoots a little dinky shot.

Anyhow, I remembered that the ice froze the one guy, and found it wasn't effective, HOWEVER, the lightning shot electrocuted him! And his armor fell off. Awesome, right? Now I could kept shooting him with the lightning shot. And he eventually died. I then unlocked the Rolling Shield, which is essentially a giant blue ball. I wonder which boss it'll pwn?... I also haven't decided which boss to strike next. So tired. Must sleep... Catch ya later gamers.

Mega Man X: Death by Lightning

So... I died this time around. Fairly often I might add. There was a lot to take in each level. I started with a fella called the "Spark Mandrill" which I thought sounded fairly ridiculous, and he did indeed LOOK fairly ridiculous, I might add, what with all his blinking lights and whatnot...

Anyway. This stupid level started on some stupid glass tubes, which had some stupid glowing electric sparks which shot along the path, damaging me if they hit me. This wouldn't have been so bad if there weren't MECHS shooting rockets at me. So I had to kill the mechs while jumping over the shock spheres, and trying not to get hit by rockets. I was nearly off'd in the first 15 seconds of that level. I luckily made it past them, only to find myself in a dark room where I ran into this crap.

So, these robot fireflys come blazing in from the other side of the screen and give you no time to react before they blast by; either hitting you or not. I died. So I had to go back, and then I died from the shock spheres/mech combo. And then I was hit by a firefly and dropped down a pit. And then again. I realized I had gotten cocky with my Mega Man skills from not dying before, but now... I was not happy. I then came to realize that the fireflys came in at the same spots every time, it was merely a matter of anticipating them and either shooting like a madman, or dodging. I managed to survive the first wave of this, and made my way along. More robots, more gaps.

I made my way through the level, blasting away, getting hit continuously by the constant array of villains. There were these giant turtles which launched parachute bombs down at me. I died

there too.

Then there was a creepy, messed up mini-boss;

He blasted me with lightning bolts, or bounced on me. Need I mention that he took out 1/3 of my health with each hit? I died there too. Just the once though, I managed to scathe my way through the second time, only getting hit twice. I died with the next wave of fireflies though.

Finally made it to the boss after fighting through more turrets, and turtles, and drill guys. He was a bulky beast, with glowing lights all over him. He didn't really have that many attack options, but he did a ridiculous amount of damage with each hit. He could send out two giant purple lightning orbs in opposite directions, which were easy enough to jump over; however, he had a flying punch that launched him straight across the floor. Now, I could jump onto the wall for this, but he would hit the wall and then knock me down... ONTO him. And so I died. Quite a few times. After getting a game over twice, and having to play through the entirety of the level a couple more times, I figured out that the Ice Power I acquired from the Penguin FREEZES big scary guy, and does an obscene amount of damage. And so I destroyed him thus.

... So I rambled again, and this post is already long enough, and I died a lot causing me to spend way more time playing today than I had initially intended... So I apologize, but it will just be the one boss for tonight. I'll go after the Armored Armadillo tomorrow. Catch ya later gamers.

Mega Man X: Penguin

So I beamed down onto this snowy tundra, and was quickly assaulted by some robot bunnies, wasps and this jackass robot with an axe who shot pieces of a spiked pillar at me. I got hit. Alot. I even came close to dying, but X is too good for that. The X buster is the best. I love charging and then sending out a great big blue blast the size of my body. It tears through baddies like a hot knife through butter... If the butter explodes afterwards that is.

Then I dealt with some leaping and wall jumping and whatnot. Robot bats and killer spiked wheels with angry faces... Thankfully whenever my health was dipping low, some bad guys would drop some health and I would get back to full. Then there was a capsule. Like, a big bacta tank. I approached it and then a hollowgram of Santa Clause in a labcoat appeared; telling me that I was very special and that he was hoping that I could live a life of peace. Except he now realized that I was destined to fight. I still don't know what I'm fighting or why, really. Just that this 'Sigma' is a bad crew. Anyway, he gave me dash boots. Which are awesome. I can finally 'duck' in some kind of fashion! Also, I can jump soooo much farther now.

So away I go, leaping over greater gaps, until I spot an abandoned mech armor. So I obviously jump in. I can dash in that too, but I can't shoot, only punch. I don't take damage though haha! So I demolish an enemy mech, and some bats, and then am met by a wall. I can't jump over it, and I can't punch through it. Lame. Had a whole 30 seconds with the armor. Fine. So I dash through the level, shooting down some robot herons that launch buzzsaws (ya, I know right?).

I came to a large metal door which I could only assume meant it was boss time. And I was right. Chill Penguin he's called. He dropped down from somewhere and then we started to fight. He could shoot ice balls at me that deflect my shots, he can breathe up some ice penguins (conceited much?) which I'd have to shoot to pieces, he sometimes launches himself on a belly slide which

deflects bullets as well, and on top of those options he can leap up to the center of the ceiling and starts a snow storm which blows in one direction and slows me down; ad can launch the ice penguins at me. I kept close to the wall so I could jump up over his attacks, using the wall to stay above his charges. I kept picking him off when he was immune to it, and we were both losing health. However, X is awesome and refuses to die. So even though I had one hit left, I blasted him every time he was about to attack, and finished him off with a quick shot after leaping over his ice shot.

Que victory music, strike a pose, beam up and away. Then I unlocked an ice power! I can now shoot a snowflake which explodes out into a bunch more, which should come in handy.
I suppose I should touch on the 'saving' system now. There is none. It's a password system thing. At the end of each level you get a screen with a bunch of numbers that you're supposed to write down if you plan on shutting the game off.

I can go on and on about one level it seems, and it didn't even take that long to beat, I think I'll cut down on rambling and bet two bosses for my next post. Ya. Catch ya later gamers.

Mega Man X: The First Steps

Alright, so apparently this 'X' is a really big deal. He's an awesome robot with finally realized AI or something. He's also ridiculously dangerous; cuz he's better than humans, and he should avoid hurting them because of rule number one of robots: "A robot shall never harm a human being", which is in a multitude of Robo-literature/cinema (see; Bicentennial Man, iRobot, etc.) Apparently this 'X' is supposed to be kept in some sort of capsule thing while his internal workings are tested. This mysterious "T.Light" fellow warns the reader of this message not to disturb X; and thus the game begins.

Well, X, as it looks, is NOT in a capsule, of any sorts. He starts off by beaming in on a highway with robotic creatures that are attacking him. I made pretty quick work of the robots, thanks to my handy X-buster and it's charge shot. Then I fought a large robot fly, which shot its machine gun at me. I'm so happy I didn't die; thankfully many enemies dropped large amounts of health so I was at full health the majority of the running, jumping, wall leaping and whatnot.

Then came the boss who dropped down from a giant flying ship. It didn't explain who he was, or what he wanted. just that he wanted me dead. And goddamn, he was tough. There was no where to wall jump off of, couldn't jump over him to dodge, and he did a good amount of damage each time he hit me. So I was very frustrated with this fight, and then realized I was supposed to lose when he entrapped me in an electric bubble thing. Then some red guy with long blonde hair named Zero shot off the bad guy's arm, and was very cocky and better than me. So much better than me. Sure he supported me with his words of "You can do it!" But when he said "You might even become as powerful as I am" all I could think was, 'Oh, you ass.'

Anyway... That was just the intro level, and now I'm looking at a menu of different bosses to go and fight... I think I'll roll on the penguin.