F-Zero: Brakes are for Suckers

Alright, so my first go at this F-Zero game was a... Partial success. To be honest, I was actually feeling pretty confident about my abilities after the first lap of Mute City. I thought the controls were simple, and that I knew exactly how to power through this whole game. Oh ho ho, boy, was I wrong. This game is vicious. It is fast, and relentless, and it is near impossible to stop to think about anything else when you're blasting along in your hover-car. By the end of my sit-down I was cursing left, right and center. I slammed my fists down on the table and walked away to get some chocolate ice cream. Let's see how I started off so well.

The game starts off simple enough. Two options: Grand Prix or Practice. I'm like "Practice? Hah, who needs it." So I jump in. There's only four different cars, which seems ludicrously small considering the roster of cars in modern racing games (over 1,000 in some cases.) I don't really take time to look at stats or acceleration because the Blue Falcon looks perfect and I love me Smash Bros.

Logic = flawless.

So here go, Mute City. Pretty basic starting racing level. More or less an oval-ish shape.

^See that oval? It's a bit distorted

So the cars blast off and I gun it. I pass two of them easily enough but the yellow car is just ahead of me. We tango for a bit, weaving side to side, he's trying to keep me from passing him, I'm trying to pass him... Classic. Then we turn.

Let me tell you something about F-Zero corners. They are tight. These are not very forgiving corners of the stage. And when you bump the wall you will know. It electrifies you. I'd say it's like the bottom of your car is fingernails, and the edges of the stage are like a chalkboard. You grind down on it and it hurts you and makes a horrible sound that you never want to experience again. But if you're going too fast, it'll shuck you all the way into the opposite wall, which will shoot you back and electrify you too. So brings in the power meter at the top right of the screen. This is your health bar. It goes down when you hit something - be it a wall or another car. There is one strip of healing track per level (so far anyway) and when you go onto it a little robot appears above you and lasers down some glowing energy that heals you.

So anyway, back to the race at hand. This yellow guy was not letting up, and even when I passed him, he was ALWAYS right on my tail. It was like no matter how fast, or how well I thought I was doing, he was literally always right behind me. I did manage to keep calm though, it was all about focus, that's one of the main things I took away; this game demands your attention or you will be passed. You can't idle. Idle and Die.

So I'm in first place right now, great place to be. There are only 3 other cars and they're behind me (right behind me infact), when I see a car coming up infront of me. And I'm thinking, "Sweet, I'm lapping one of them!" But, no, it was a car I didn't recognize. So I pass it, and there are a couple more. Then it just becomes normal that there are all these other cars in the race. Some of them are flashing, and if you bump them, they explode. I guess their extra enemies to deal with, because just racing would be boring, right?

So that's the gist of Mute City. I won though.

Wooo! First place!

Next we came to Big Blue, which is a really fun stage; and has an AMAZING soundtrack to it. It's very recognizable, but that may be because I played a lot of Smash Bros. (When will I stop referencing that game? Who knows.)

Anyhoo, pretty well the same deal here. Kept ahead, couldn't look back, smashed into some walls, tight corners, flashing enemy-bombs. Came out on top.

So I really felt good about those two first levels, and I imagined I would continue this winning streak and demolish anything in my way. You'll see how wrong I was in my next post, catch ya later gamers!

ME0: No, It's Not A New Cinnamon Chewing Gum

So after much thought I have decided to follow in JO3's footstopes and step outside of the sidescroller genre for my next game. I didn't want to start taking on obscure ones quite yet (as I have heard from many friends that this will likely be a problem later if we hit all of teh mainstream ones too early) because there is one game I started to play about three years ago and lost my copy of it. So now I'm bringing it back and I plan to see it through to the end. It's one of my favorite RPG series out there, as it is ripe with story, heart, and a unique gameplay.



Ladies and Gentlemen. I give you (if you actually read this instead of went from picture to picture :P) Breath of Fire!

Work on this game of dragon-filled awesomeness starts as soon as possible. Also, take a look at that cover art! I was blown away when I looked it up because it is far more epic than the cartoony style that the games are well known for. Nevertheless, I'm super stoked. This is gonna take a while, but I am dedicated to kicking its arse one way or another.

Keep on gaming gamers.



PS: We have added a few new features to our blog. We now have begun a list of defeated games so readers can keep track of what we've done already. We also have a page with tips and tricks for the games we've beaten, feel free to click and check them out.

JO3; Need for F-Speed

Dear gamers, I apologize for my extended absence. I'm currently stage managing a fantastic theater production and have had no time to myself to settle down and start up a new game to talk about. I feel terrible about not posting though, so I decided I could at least announce my next game, which I will be posting about right away. I thought about what game I would play, trying to consider what I'll have time for, what kind of game I would even want to play, etc... And I came to a final decision!

Not just a racing game - a FUTURE racing game. With jet-cars and boosters and Captain Falcon. Everytime I see the cover I just think "Show me your moves!" And I intend to. Yes that's the wrong game. Yes that one is amazing too. Sadly that's not on the SNES so I can't blog about it... Not yet.

Catch ya later gamers.

P.S. Thank you for the continuous views, really makes me feel like I'm providing some entertainment - don't be so shy and comment! Let us know how we're doing.

ME0: Ready Set Game

Hey blogosphere, it's me, ME0. I'm the co-author/co-founder of this here blog, and since it was my big fat idea I decided to post before J03. We are the 16-Bit Warriors and we're here to deliver to the public a very special kind of service. There will be some entertainment, some online venting, reader participation, polls, contests, and general video game help

What's the big idea? Well! To put it simply, JO3 and I will be playing all 721 mainstream released SNES games. Not just play, but BEAT. Yes, beat. As in defeat, rap, whoop, destroy, and WIN.

I know what you're thinking. When I first came up with the idea, the only question I had was...but how? Some games don't have endings, sports games are infinitely re-playable, puzzle games sometimes go on and on, and some games aren't games, but simulators. Well that's what the blog is for, gamers. When we are about to begin a game that doesn't have a definitive "ending" that's when we turn to our readers and figure out what the equivalent is. An example would be a certain sports game would require us to beat the whole league on the hardest difficulty. Cool? Cool.

So. The challenge has been made (by us, to us), and we have accepted. Today is the first day of a long long road. There will be emotions...broken controllers...bitter girlfriends...the temptation to look up cheats online, but we are going to try and be 100% honest and fun about this. If you're reading, I look forward to your input as the blog progresses. Until then, Game On!

First game on ME0's list?: Super Metroid!

I only have one thing to say for the start of this game so far.

Space Pirates? I hope I encounter them.

Metroid Fans may now proceed with the making-fun.

-----~o~-----ME0-----~o~-----